I have a question about the Geisha facial: would you be willing to pay $180 to have bird poop slathered all over your face? You’re all rolling your eyes and shaking your heads in disgust now, aren’t you? “Eww! No, of course not, Gio,” I hear you claim, outraged. “Who the hell would want THAT?!” I hear ya. I wouldn’t either.
But what if I asked you, instead: “Would you like to try a Geisha facial? It has nightingale poop in it, but it makes your skin so clear and bright, like a chemical peel, but without the irritation. And Victoria Beckham is a huge fan. That’s how she keeps her skin looking so young!”
When you put it like that, I guess some of you would be willing to give it a try, right. Just out of curiosity, of course. You never know what may work, right? But what if I told you, you don’t need to splurge this much on real poo to get the skincare benefits of poo (now, that’s a sentence I never thought I’d have written!). Here’s everything you need to know about the Geisha facial – and the benefits of bird poo – in skincare:
What’s A Geisha Facial?
The Geisha facial wasn’t passed down through generations in Kyoto. It was invented in New York. Shizuka Bernstein, an aesthetician who runs a luxury spa in Manhattan, was the one who turned nightingale poop into a $180 treatment and slapped the word “Geisha” on it to make it sound more ancient and mysterious than it actually is. Classic.
When you book it, you’re not just walking into a back room with a jar of powdered bird crap. It’s the whole spa experience. Low lighting. Calming music. Hot towels. Steam. Maybe a neck massage. It’s designed to feel luxurious – even though the star of the show is literal poop (more on that in the next section).
Once you’re on the table, they mix the powdered poop with rice bran and a bit of water to make a paste. Then they spread it all over your face like a mask. It sits there for 10-ish minutes while you try to ignore the fact that your cheeks are marinating in bird droppings. Some versions include a light massage while it’s on. Then it’s wiped off with warm towels, and they finish with your typical toner-serum-moisturiser routine to make it feel like a proper facial.
What’s In A Geisha Facial?
Apparently, you can’t take the poo from just any nightingale. It has to be a Japanese bush warbler. Why? Legend has it, geishas noticed nightingale’s poo was the best at clearing up their complexions (don’t ask me how!). These were the days when they used heavy white, lead-based foundations that completely destroyed their skin (not to mention their health).
I guess if you’re willing to use that stuff, it’s not much of a stretch to massage poo all over your face to see if it works. It did (not sure how happy they were with that – I mean, if it were me, I’d want it NOT to work, you know what I mean?).
Turns out there’s a scientific reason behind this madness. Japanese blush warblers are small birds with small digestive tracts. This allows their poo to keep all those substances that are good for the skin. Of course, these nightingales must eat well or their poo won’t do much. People who sell this stuff to beauty salons, brands and anyone else crazy enough to buy it feed them an organic seed diet.
Then, they spend their days scraping their poo from their cages (and you were complaining about your job!), sterilize it with an ultraviolet light and ground it into a fine powder so that no one would even realise it’s shit when they add it to a cream. Smart.
Also smart? Marketing. These facials don’t just survive because they work. They survive because they’re exotic. Call it “enzyme exfoliation” and no one cares. Say it’s a sacred Geisha secret made from rare Japanese bird droppings and suddenly people are lining up like it’s the fountain of youth. Classic beauty industry move: slap a mysterious backstory on it, jack up the price, and hope you’re too dazzled to question why you’re putting powdered bird crap on your face.
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Nightingale Poop Skincare Benefits
I know, it’s crazy to think there may be some good stuff in poo. I mean, wasn’t it supposed to be all waste? Mmm, it mostly is, but there are a couple of things in there your skin will love. What are they?Urea and guanine. Let’s take a closer look at them:
Urea Hydrates Skin And Makes It Supple
You’re all familiar with urea. It’s the same stuff found in pee (this doesn’t get any better, does it?) and in lots of skincare products (but for that, it’s made in a lab – pheww!).
Urea is a wonderful humectant. That means it can bind water to the skin, helping to keep it hydrated, soft and supple. Plus, if you crank it up past 10%, it also exfoliates. So yeah, it’s basically doing two jobs at once. Smooth, glowy skin without scrubbing your face off.
But, it needs to stay on the skin to work. If you take it off after a few minutes (what happens during a Geisha facial), you’re just slathering poo all over your face for nothing. Ewww! Just grab a cheap urea cream from the drugstore and call it a day. Way less gross. Way more effective.
Best Picks:
- Eucerin Dry Skin Replenshing Cream 5% Urea (£12.00): A lightweight moisturiser for dry skin that heals dryness without leaving a grease residue on skin. Available at Boots, Look Fantastic, and Sephora.
- First Aid Beauty KP Smoothing Body Lotion with 10% AHA ($28.00): An exfoliating body lotion with hydrating urea to smooth out imperfection and remove bumps. Available at Look Fantastic and Sephora
- The Ordinary Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA Daily Moisturizer ($13.50): A lightweight moisturiser that strengthens youre skin’s protective barrier and makes every skin type soft and smooth. Available at Beauty Bay, Boots, Cult Beauty, Look Fantastic, SpaceNK, The Ordinary, and Ulta.
Related: The Complete Guide To Urea: What It Is, What It Does, And How To Use It
Guanine Brightens Skin
If the name evokes hazy memories of high school, it’s because you’ve probably heard it in science class. Guanine is one of the four bases found in DNA (but don’t worry, this stuff can’t affect your DNA when you put it on the skin – that could actually give you cancer).
The cool stuff about guanine is its colour. Guanine is iridescent, so it can brighten your skin really well. Also, let’s not kid ourselves: “brightening” from guanine just means your face looks a bit shiny. That’s it. It’s like rubbing highlighter on top of the problem and calling it skincare. It’s not doing squat for dark spots or dullness. But you know what else does that? Glitters and shimmers.
You want real results? Get yourself some vitamin C, azelaic acid, or a solid AHA. Those actually do something without requiring you to rub literal bird butt sparkles on your face. Sorry, nightingales!
Best Picks:
- MaeLove Glow Booster ($27.95): A vitamin c serum that brightens skin, prevents wrinkles, and boosts the sun protection of your sunscreen. Available at Maelove.
- Paula’s Choice 10% Azelaic Acid Booster ($36.00): Great at treating dark spots and acne, you can use it on its own or mix it with your moisturiser. Available at Cult Beauty, Dermstore and Paula’s Choice, Sephora, SpaceNK
- Drunk Elephant T.L.C. Framboos Glycolic Night Serum ($90.00): This exfoliant contains two exfoliants. Glycolic Acid to fade away dark spots and Salicylic Acid to unclog pores. Available at Cult Beauty, Sephora and SpaceNK
Are Nightingale Poop Facials Actually Safe?
Short answer: probably. But would I still put it on my face? Nah. Since the poop is sterilized with UV light and ground into a powder, most bacteria and parasites are neutralized. So technically, it’s not dangerous. But it’s still waste. And even though it’s treated, there’s no telling how consistently it’s processed from batch to batch. Add that to the fact that you’re paying luxury prices for a product that might do less than your average serum, and the “safety” just doesn’t outweigh the “ick.”
FAQs About Geisha Facials
1. Can I get a Geisha facial if I’m vegan?
Even if it’s cruelty-free and no birds were harmed, it’s still animal waste. So no, most vegans would steer clear. But spas don’t always mention this up front, so it’s easy to get caught off guard.
2. Does it work for acne?
It claims to. The urea is hydrating and mildly exfoliating, and the rice bran can help soften skin. But if you have active breakouts or inflammation, smearing fermented bird waste (even if sterilised) isn’t exactly dermatologist-recommended. Use salicylic acid instead.
Related: The Complete Guide To Every Type Of Acne (And How To Treat It!)
3. How long do the results last?
Not long. Like most facials, you might look a bit glowy for a day or two, but it’s not some miracle that changes your skin long-term. You’d need to keep going regularly for it to have any lasting effect, which… $$$.
4. Does it have a smell?
It’s been sterilised and scent-masked, but some people still say it has a weird, earthy smell. Not full-on pet shop, but definitely not floral either. If you’re sensitive to smells, you’ll notice it.
5. Where can I get one?
It’s a niche treatment. Only a handful of spas (mostly in New York, LA, London, and Tokyo) offer it. It’s not something you’ll find at your local beauty clinic. And even when it’s offered, it’s often under the radar, not listed on the menu-because… well, not everyone wants to advertise that they’re rubbing poo on people.
The Bottom Line
Don’t waste your money on Geisha facials. They’re gross and don’t do anything that a good moisturizer, highlighter or exfoliant can’t do.
About Gio
Hi, I’m Gio. I’m a no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is skin coach and writer on a mission to help you achieve your best skin day ever – every day. I bust skincare myths and debunk marketing jargon to help you figure out what’s worth the splurge and what’s best left on the shelf – using science, not hype. I also offer skincare consultations to help you create the best skincare routine for your unique needs.
