“Dwell your life for you not for anybody else. Don’t let the worry of being judged, rejected or disliked cease you from being your self.” ~Sonya Parker
On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my lengthy, thick, luscious hair.
I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Take Satisfaction Barbershop, and sat within the chair with essentially the most badass barber. She quelled my last-minute fears and boldly took the clippers to my never-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair.
It was prompt liberation.
I had lastly labored up the braveness to take action after 4 years of inside debate and fear, which went one thing like: What is going to individuals suppose? Will individuals suppose I’m a person? Will individuals deal with me otherwise? What if I’m truly ugly and my ugliness might be revealed? What if my head is oddly formed? Will I’ve to put on a bunch of make-up?
My worries and ideas had been clearly steeped deep in societal conditioning about magnificence and femininity. We’re advised that lengthy hair is female and delightful. We’re advised that younger girls aren’t alleged to have quick hair. We’re advised that if you’re a girl with quick hair, be sure you put on make-up and jewellery so that you look female.
However I lastly stopped all of the pondering, broke free from these norms, and I simply did it. I mentioned, “Off with the hair!”
And now I really feel free-er, sexier, and prettier.
I really feel extra like me.
It’s as if I shed layers that had been truly hiding my true essence. My true essence as an adventurous, empathic, sensual being who typically feels tender and tender, and different instances feels daring and badass. My true essence as somebody who’s cautious of guidelines and authority.
It’s additionally as if I shed layers of my ego. As a result of whether or not I prefer to admit it or not, my hair was a big piece of my identification as a girl. Hair is an professional communicator, with the power to ship so many messages by a single look. Hair communicates gender, sexuality, wealth, age, well being, and elements of our persona.
Now that I’ve shed my lengthy hair, I believe the one a part of me that’s nonetheless communicated by way of my hair is my persona. For one can not have a look at me and rapidly deduce my gender, sexuality, wealth, age, or well being. (I do have very toned muscle mass and glowing pores and skin, so individuals ought to be capable to make an assumption about my well being, however some individuals solely see the quick hair and assume I’ve most cancers).
What’s communicated boldly is that I create and stay by my very own guidelines. And if individuals know one factor about me, THAT is strictly what I would like them to know.
My buzzed hair additionally lends an aura, as individuals marvel about all of these different little examine bins (gender, wealth, age, and so on.) which are normally communicated by way of hair.
Whereas I did shed some layers of my ego, my buzzed head additionally makes a fairly robust assertion, and in full transparency, I get numerous consideration. This consideration is available in all types.
Generally it’s “Excuse me sir…oh! I imply ma’am.”
Generally it’s “It’s worthwhile to put on lipstick to look extra female.” (Who mentioned I wished to look extra female?!)
Different instances it’s “Omg, you’re so stunning” or “I LOVE your hair.”
Generally I get free guac.
I get numerous smiles from passersby on the sidewalk.
I get numerous lingering appears on the submit workplace, the espresso store, and the dance ground.
And whereas I do like to be known as stunning (who doesn’t?!), I don’t connect myself to the reward or the criticism as a result of I’ve determined for myself that I’m robust, radiant, and delightful, from the within out. I not care if individuals suppose I look masculine or female, ugly, or stunning. I don’t care if individuals in Idaho suppose I’ve most cancers. I don’t care if individuals suppose I appear like a thin boy with out make-up on. (What’s incorrect with wanting like a thin boy?!)
This stage of not caring, of being so assured in who I’m, is the final word freedom.
Plus, I do know that when individuals react somehow, it’s not actually about me and my hair. Their response signifies that I activated one thing inside them. I activated their want to be free and to cease following the foundations that another person laid out for them.
In the perfect instances, I provide others a bit of permission slip to step into their very own boldness. Which is one among my favourite elements of buzzed life—when girls inform me I’ve impressed them to buzz their lengthy hair! That they had been so nervous about what individuals would suppose, however after seeing me do it, they now have the braveness too. That’s highly effective.
So whereas the coiffure of 1 girl might seem to be a easy and insignificant factor, it truly performs a small however essential function within the liberation and empowerment of girls.
For when a girl has the braveness to push again towards magnificence requirements, that braveness is ignited, and she or he additionally develops the braveness to decide on freedom in different sides of her life as properly.
For me, that has regarded like extra sexual freedom—making me extra playful in mattress and bolder in sharing my needs—and extra confidence in all areas of my life.
Buzzing my hair has additionally created extra time in my life, as I spend much less time preparing. It’s created extra psychological house, as I not spend inordinate quantities of time desirous about how one can type my hair, when to scrub it, and whether or not or to not get it highlighted.
It has additionally freed up extra money as a result of I not spend tons of of {dollars} on highlights and cuts. My fiancé buzzes my hair at house and, often, I bleach it myself.
It’s additionally led to freedom in how I costume. Generally I like to decorate to specific my femininity. Different instances, I costume to specific my masculinity. As somebody who was once deeply insecure about her tomboy-ish-ness and lack of want to put on make-up, I’ve reclaimed the masculine elements of me with delight, which has been an integral a part of my therapeutic and growth journey.
It has additionally deepened my sensuality. Within the bathe, the water massages my head extra intimately. On a summer time day, the solar kisses me deeply. On a breezy morning, the wind and I dance a sleek dance. On the dance ground, the softness of my fiancé’s lips prompts my crown chakra. I really feel much less separation between the world and me. I’m extra built-in. I’m extra conscious of my oneness with the pure world.
Sure, all of this due to my buzzed hair!
So I’ll depart you with just a few parting phrases of knowledge:
1. Individuals are going to speak and have an opinion about you it doesn’t matter what, so that you may as properly do what you need and be who you need.
2. Others’ opinions of you actually have extra to do with them than they do with you, so don’t take stuff too personally and concern your self at the beginning together with your opinion of your self.
3. If you wish to buzz your head, do it. For those who don’t prefer it, it’ll develop again. However I wager you’ll prefer it!
So right here’s to taking motion to stay as a extra free, wild, and assured you!
About Teresa Towey
Teresa Towey is a coach and mentor for ladies. She curates particular person and group areas to information girls in returning to their wild, visceral nature by connection to the physique and the earth. She has a particular focus in serving to girls specific their sensuality and stay in alignment with their menstrual cycles. Try her web site and comply with her on Instagram. DM her to schedule a free 1:1 session!
