We’ve all felt it: that quiet pang when someone else’s life looks shinier, easier, or more successful than our own. Maybe it’s a friend’s career milestone splashed across LinkedIn, a perfectly filtered vacation photo, or simply the endless highlight reels we scroll past each day. However it shows up, comparison has a way of pulling us out of our own lives and into someone else’s story. And when it becomes a habit, it leaves us depleted, restless, and disconnected.
Comparison is human, but the pace and presence of social media have amplified it to a constant hum in the background of our days. We know we should stop comparing ourselves to others, but that’s easier said than done when the triggers are always within reach. The question isn’t whether comparison will arise. (It will.) The question is how we respond when it does.
Featured image from our interview with Mary Ralph Bradley by Michelle Nash.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others—From Someone Who’s Been There
What I’ve learned is that the antidote to comparison isn’t found in deleting every app or cutting ourselves off from the world. Instead, it’s about making intentional shifts—small practices that return us to presence, remind us of our own values, and allow us to feel joy in our actual lives. Ahead, I’m sharing five practices that have helped me step out of the comparison trap and into something far more nourishing: connection, creativity, and peace.
Shift Your Focus Outward
Comparison keeps us turned inward—measuring, tallying, shrinking. One of the simplest ways to loosen its grip is to look up and shift your attention toward others. When I catch myself spiraling into self-focus (How do I measure up? Why don’t I have that yet?), it’s usually a sign that I need to re-engage with the people right in front of me.
Instead of scrolling, I’ll step into the kitchen with my kids, call a friend, or look for small ways to offer kindness. That act of reorienting—moving from self-absorption to connection—doesn’t just distract me from comparison. It fills me with the kind of presence and joy that no number of likes could match. Real-life love, laughter, and community will always outweigh digital validation.
Try it yourself: The next time you feel pulled into comparison, pause and reach out to someone else. Send a quick text of encouragement, ask a loved one how their day is going, or step into a moment of connection offline. Notice how your energy shifts.
Choose Support Over Scarcity
It’s easy to believe that someone else’s success takes something away from us. A promotion, a book deal, a viral post—when we’re in a scarcity mindset, those moments can feel like proof that we’re falling behind. But the truth is, life isn’t a zero-sum game. There’s no universal bank account of opportunities that runs dry when someone else makes a withdrawal.
When we reframe others’ achievements as evidence of what’s possible—not proof of our own limitations—we expand instead of contracting. We can celebrate a friend’s new job, a co-worker’s creative win, or even a stranger’s beautiful home without questioning our own worth. And paradoxically, the more genuinely we celebrate others, the more freedom we feel in our own path.
Try it yourself: The next time envy creeps in, reframe it as inspiration. Leave a heartfelt comment, send a congratulatory text, or pause and say to yourself, “If it’s possible for them, it’s possible for me, too.”
Real-life love, laughter, and community will always outweigh digital validation.
Redefine Success on Your Terms
Comparison thrives when we measure our lives against someone else’s definition of success. The number of followers, the size of a home, the pace of a career—none of these reflect the whole of a life well-lived. When we stop comparing ourselves to others and instead define success by our own values, we free ourselves from a race we never chose to run.
One of my close friends told me that her turning point came when she let go of external measures and leaned into what felt meaningful to her: creating art, building community, living slowly. Success stopped being about keeping up and started being about alignment. That shift isn’t about lowering the bar—it’s about raising it to meet the life you actually want.
Try it yourself: Write down three ways you’d measure success if no one else’s opinion mattered. Keep the list somewhere visible, and let it be your compass when comparison calls you off course.
Set Boundaries with Technology
Most of our comparison triggers live in the palm of our hand. The endless scroll of feeds makes it almost effortless to slip into measuring ourselves against others. If we want to stop comparing ourselves to others, one of the most powerful tools we have is learning where our limits are—and respecting them.
Boundaries look different for everyone. For me, it might mean no scrolling first thing in the morning so I can begin the day grounded, or setting my phone aside an hour before bed to give my mind space to rest. For you, it could mean a screen-free Saturday or turning off notifications that constantly pull you back into the noise. These simple guardrails don’t cut us off from connection. They create the space to be present in our real lives.
Try it yourself: Choose one tech boundary to try this week—no phone in the bedroom, no scrolling after dinner, or a social media-free day on the weekend. Notice how it impacts your energy and mood.
Success stopped being about keeping up and started being about alignment. That shift isn’t about lowering the bar—it’s about raising it to meet the life you actually want.
Stay Rooted in the Present
Comparison pulls us into someone else’s life, and out of our own. The fastest way back is to return to presence: the here, the now, the small moments that give texture and meaning to our days. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you notice the beauty that’s already around you.
Presence doesn’t erase comparison, but it does shift its power. When you root yourself in gratitude for what’s in front of you, the urgency to measure against someone else begins to fade. You realize that your life, in its ordinary and imperfect wholeness, is more than enough.
Try it yourself: When comparison shows up, pause and name three things you’re grateful for in that exact moment. Let those small anchors remind you that your real life—not the one on a screen—is where fulfillment lives.
Living Free From Comparison
Comparison will always try to find its way in, but when we choose presence over pressure, connection over competition, and authenticity over appearances, its grip begins to loosen. The more we practice shifting our focus, supporting others, setting boundaries, and defining success on our own terms, the less space comparison has to thrive.
Learning how to stop comparing yourself to others isn’t about perfection. It’s about noticing when the habit creeps in and gently guiding yourself back to what matters: your values, your people, and your life. When we return to that place, we find a freedom far greater than anything social media could offer.
So the next time you catch yourself scrolling and slipping into envy, pause. Breathe and look around. Joy is here, waiting in the present moment—yours for the noticing.
This post was last updated on October 8, 2025, to include new insights.
