“And then I realized that to be seen by others, I first had to be willing to see myself.” ~Anonymous
In a world that teaches us to be visible only when we’re polished, productive, or pleasing, I found something unexpected on the other side of my camera: myself.
But not the filtered version. Not the composed one or the “smiling because I’m fine” version.
I found the person I’d forgotten—the one who had spent years loving, giving, showing up for everyone else but rarely turning any of that tenderness inward.
I didn’t pick up the camera to take pretty pictures. I picked it up because I was afraid I’d disappeared.
I Didn’t Want to Be Seen; I Needed to See Myself
The idea of photographing myself didn’t come from a place of vanity. It came from absence.
One evening, while trying to upload photos for a dating profile after years of single parenting and heartbreak, I realized I had no photos that felt like me. Not the version of me who had weathered so much. Not the version I was becoming.
So I quietly set up a tripod. Brushed my hair off my face. Took a deep breath.
Click.
The first photo felt awkward. The second felt posed. But by the third, something shifted. I saw a glimmer—not just of who I had been, but of who I might become.
This wasn’t about being photogenic. It was about presence.
Each Click Became a Quiet Homecoming
Soon, I started photographing myself regularly. Alone. Unrushed.
Some days, I wore mascara. Other days, I didn’t even brush my hair. And some days, I cried.
But every day, I tried to show up as honestly as I could.
Slowly, I began to notice things I’d overlooked for years:
- Strength in my eyes
- Grace in my aging hands
- Resilience in my stillness
They weren’t just pictures. They were whispers. Visual love letters. A way of saying, “I’m still here.”
And I wasn’t invisible. I’d just been looking through the wrong lens.
I Thought I Was Taking Pictures, but I Was Actually Healing
We live in a culture that celebrates busyness and output. But it rarely teaches us how to witness ourselves—especially in stillness.
In those quiet moments behind the lens, my camera became a gentle teacher. It held space for the version of me that didn’t always feel put together. It didn’t ask me to smile. It didn’t judge. It just saw.
And in being seen—truly seen, by my own eyes—I began to heal.
My camera became more than a tool. It became a mirror. Not the kind that criticizes or compares, but the kind that says, “You’re allowed to take up space. Just as you are.”
Here’s What I Learned (and Keep Learning)
Through this experience, I learned:
- I wasn’t invisible. I just hadn’t looked at myself with curiosity in a long time.
- I had looked with judgment. With fatigue. With shame. But not with compassion.
- These weren’t selfies. They were self-portraits—acts of reclamation.
- I didn’t need to be beautiful. I just needed to be honest.
Each session became a quiet act of rebellion—against perfectionism, against invisibility, against the pressure to perform.
And slowly, a truth emerged: I didn’t need to wait for a milestone to be worthy of attention.
I didn’t need a transformation. I needed permission. Permission to see myself. Permission to say: This is me, now.
From Healing to Helping Others
Eventually, something unexpected happened.
I began to share pieces of my story. And people started reaching out.
- “I feel like I’ve lost myself, too.”
- “I haven’t seen a photo of myself I actually like in years.”
- “I don’t remember the last time I felt comfortable in front of a camera.”
So I started photographing others—not for branding or special events, but for healing.
In natural light, in safe spaces, we’d create images that captured something more than appearance.
We captured presence. Belonging. Truth.
One woman whispered after her session, “I feel like I’ve come home to myself.”
I knew exactly what she meant.
You Don’t Need a Special Occasion to Be Seen
If you’ve ever felt like you’ve gone a little quiet inside…
If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wondered when you stopped recognizing the person staring back…
If you’ve ever felt like the world sees only a fraction of who you really are…
I want you to know this: you don’t need to wait.
You don’t need to lose ten pounds or gain a promotion or start a new relationship to become worthy of your own gaze.
You already are.
So if you’re feeling invisible, here’s a gentle invitation:
Set up your camera. Let the light fall on your face. Be still. Click.
The first photo might feel strange. The second may feel forced.
But keep going.
Eventually, someone will show up in that frame. And when they do, you’ll remember: you’ve been here all along.
About Shannon Kathleen
Shannon Kathleen is a Minneapolis-based photographer who specializes in self-worth and online dating portraits. After navigating years of single motherhood and quiet reinvention, she began a self-portrait practice that helped her reconnect with her identity — not as a parent, partner, or professional, but as herself. She now helps others rediscover their confidence through the lens. Find her reflections, gentle resources, and photography at shannonkathleenphotography.com
